The Hot Girl Paradox

Hot girl, cold shoulders

lonley girl

The hot girl knows she’s being judged by other women because of how she looks, and she knows she’s often resented for it. Not because all women are bitchy assholes, but because we’re all so incredibly attuned to how we’re ‘supposed’ to look, and a part of that is working out how we’re doing in comparison with other women.

It’s not intentional, it’s not even conscious most of the time, it’s just there, buried in our brains and instincts by a lifetime of daily reinforced messages from all around us.

This means that the hot girl knows she’s probably making some other ‘less hot’ girls feel shitty about themselves, and that on some level they might not like her for it, even if they don’t really know why. If they’re particularly insecure or not very nice, they might make it her problem by giving her a hard time.

This can make being the hot girl quite a lonely existence when it comes to making friends. It takes a very big person to be totally immune to these feelings on every level. To add another layer of complexity, the hot girl might feel this way about hotter girls too, so she’ll feel like she’s not hot enough a lot of the time.

The older women get, the less likely they are to buy into this bullshit, but until then it’s a constant game of compare, contrast, and feel a bit shitty about it all, whether you win or lose. This is part one of the hot girl paradox.

Written by Kate Rawdon

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