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Out of “Ex”-ile: The Stress-Free, Judgment-Free Guide to Getting Back with Your Ex

people are atrracted to change

Where are we going with all of this? Well, the simple fact that humans are always looking for a good genetic match. Even though the theory that people are attracted to those who look similar is true – you may have heard the creepy thing about how we’re attracted to people who remind us of our parents – we’re also attracted to genetic variance (to give our kids the best shot at fighting diseases). Again, it doesn’t matter if you and your partner never will (or logistically can’t) have kids.

But do you know what all this means? People are subconsciously (and consciously!) attracted to change. You and your ex may have broken up over a number of different things, but your ex’s brain is mentally trained to see a changed you as a new you; our biological hardwiring sees “outward, cosmetic change = good.” But it certainly does work.

By saying it was the photos that changed Lexi’s mind, we’re not trying to say that only appearance matters, or that the advice to “hit the gym” is the only path you can follow. Rather, we’re saying that you need to find your own version of the “Facebook before and after photo.” This could be intellectual, emotional, related to your behaviors and how you carry yourself…making a concrete, measurable change is the best way to re-impress your ex.

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Written by Tracy Lovell

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