And unlike the “get past it” culture that tells you to move on from your ex – as if that advice can somehow apply universally, ignoring all complex individual factors – we are not suggesting you take a potential loss. Making a positive change in your life does not involve any potential loss, only addition. Perhaps an addition that will make you a richer person, smoothing out the rough edges of your “puzzle piece” so you can fit well with your ex again.
There are no absolute guarantees. Hence, our first words making fun of the “Get Him Back in Ten Days” mentality – that’s tripe, and even fishier than tripe (tripe is a fish, get it?). But there is certainly no loss involved in making a positive change to your life. As we will expand on later, if you can consistently and convincingly show “proof of positivity” that your ex will see, it can overcome his or her initial, sometimes very strong tendency to believe the breakup was a good decision. That’s one thing we’ll cover here that you don’t see in many articles of this nature: the biases and tendencies that cloud human judgment. This affects everyone, not just your ex. People are notoriously bad at knowing their own needs and predicting their own long-term goals and desires.
Making a positive change and showing proof of positivity is key to changing the endgame with your ex. Here a concrete example of what these positive changes might look like more specifically, and how they might catch an ex’s attention. Here’s a story from someone we interviewed online: