The Truth About Looks And Dating For Men
“Why can’t I get a date? It must be that I don’t look good enough!!”. I’ve heard this statement uttered to me as a dating coach so many times that at this point I should change careers and open up a plastic surgery practice…
I’d be rich!
Fortunately for the guys I work with I can offer them the truth and that truth is a whole lot cheaper than going under the knife.
Granted, looks do play a role but it’s a piece of the puzzle, it’s not the whole picture. In many cases, looks are an easier fix than what most men realize.
You can address a lot of your shortcomings by simply doing some grooming but going the extra mile with it. A stylish haircut, getting some fashionable clothes, teeth whitening, and getting in the gym is a good start.
However, that’s not going to fix everything…
We all have strengths and weaknesses so why not accentuate those strengths that you can do something about.
Let’s be honest, if you’re a shorter guy you’re probably not going to grow and you can’t do a damn thing about it.
The good news is that there are plenty of areas that you can work on to carry yourself as an attractive man to start attracting the women into your life that you want there.
Let me give you a few examples of how you can do that.
1. HOW YOU MAKE HER FEEL
When it comes to attraction, this is the bottom line.
She has to feel a certain way about you to be attracted, right?
Looks can certainly play a part in that. But I can’t tell you how many times a woman has told me “I just realized how attractive you are!” As men, we tend to place a premium on looks. For many women, however, it’s just one slice of the pizza. And who doesn’t like a pizza buffet?
Taking her on an emotional rollercoaster ride and resonating with your personality can make you more attractive in her eyes.
Showing her that you’re not the average, everyday, humdrum guy will work wonders. Ever hear a woman complain about how boring men are? Well, I have, MANY, MANY… MANY times!
It’s often because most men don’t speak passionately about their interests or show a zest for life in any real way.
If you speak with conviction but taper that with an edgy sense of humor she’ll find you refreshing and interesting.
Be a rollercoaster, not a merry-go-round!
2. SHOW YOU HAVE A STRONG FRAME
Have you ever seen a home that’s under construction? I’m sure you have at some point. What you saw is the foundation being laid and the studs standing there just waiting for the drywall to be applied.
That’s the home’s frame, and we’re built the same way. Sure, some nice exterior is cool but ultimately it doesn’t do any good if the frame can’t stand up to strong wind and collapses.
Your frame is the inner strength and self-respect you have for yourself.
If the girl you’re talking to is attractive, she’s likely to have gotten used to guys doing things for her because she got lucky in the gene pool.
If you demonstrate that you’re not intimidated by her and refuse to put her on a pedestal it will go a long way to make you stand out. She wants to be treated like a human being and not like an angel. I’m not saying to be disrespectful or treat her poorly (That’s will be counterproductive and is just plain rude).
What I am saying is that in order for her to respect you (and, mind you, respect is KEY to attraction), then don’t be a doormat that she can just walk all over on.
Being the “nice guy” like all the other guys won’t get you anywhere!
3. SOCIAL PROOF
“If everybody is doing it then it must be the thing to do!”
This sums up social proof at its core. If you have a full life with a lot of things going on and tons of friends to do them with then you must be the guy to get to know.
Generally, speaking women want to be with a guy that likes to have fun with an exciting lifestyle. I mean, even a very physically attractive guy is going to struggle if his lifestyle resembles that of a hermit.
What this demonstrates is that you can get along with others and that if she’s going to be a part of your life that you’re offering one with some excitement.
In addition to that, she wants to feel comfortable being able to introduce you to the important people in her life.
Nobody wants to eat at the dimly lit restaurant when the busy yet fun place is right across the street. Sure, she might get her food quicker but does she really want it? Probably not
4. YOUR CHARM
If you’re not the most charismatic person on the planet that’s okay, because it’s a skill set that can be learned.
It’s not something that you have to be born with but it is something that you have to practice.
Thankfully, there’s a lot of ways you can practice how to be charming with friends, family members, and acquaintances.
Let’s go through some ways to up that level of charm and boost your instant likeability when you talk to anyone.
Look people in the eyes when you speak to them… Being able to tell a well-delivered story…
Being witty and telling well-timed jokes…
Grab their attention and have interesting conversations…
If these are areas that you struggle with you can work on them with practice and looking up content that will give you tips and tricks to help you be that silver-tongued devil that many women swoon over.
5. COCKY/FUNNY
“Wait… Did I read that right?! Dale, did you say cocky? I don’t want to be a jerk that comes across like an A-hole!”
Woah! Take it easy, man. That’s not what we’re talking about here. What I’m talking about is having a playful and flirty demeanor that isn’t afraid to lightly tease.
I’m not saying to make fun of her but what I am saying is when she spills her drink to playfully say “Looks like someone can’t handle her liquor” with a wink and a smile.
If a woman is even remotely attractive, she typically isn’t used to men taking that tack with her. This is simply because guys are afraid to blow the chance of getting with her.
If you’re able to show that you’re comfortable with her then it shows that you’re not a try-hard that wants to win her admiration. It communicates that you’re comfortable in your own skin and she should feel comfortable too.
In closing…
Stop fixating on your looks to the point that it’s being an obstacle for you. Start putting that attention into the things we talked about here and it will make a huge difference in your dating life.
When it comes to looks and dating for men, women aren’t a hive mind and everyone has different takes on what they find physically attractive but these points discussed here will spark an attraction that goes beyond the physical.
