Online Dating for Dudes: Four Foolproof Tips to Keep You From Screwing It Up
Online dating is the final frontier for a lot of you dudes out there. Whether you’ve had trouble with the ladies because you refuse to shave your neck, or because just can’t get the hell out of grandma’s house, online dating is there for you.
Maybe you’re even a dude that does fine with women and wants to expand his horizons. Unlikely, but we’ll play along if that’s your story.
As awesome as it might be to flirt with women through your computer screen without the fear of rejection, you still have a pretty good chance of fucking everything up online too. You won’t get a drink thrown in your face, but you won’t get any dates, either.
So how can you use online dating in your lifelong search for true love? Keep reading dude. Apparently there’s a lot of work to do.
Be Honest, Dumbass!
You want to “score” beautiful girls with advanced degrees that speak three languages and regularly hang out with supermodels. Sure, we all want that. When you’re online though, it’s easy to try and attract women way out of your league by just plain lying to them.
What’s the problem with that? Why can’t you be a billionaire banker with a house in the South of France? Because you work in customer service and rent a shitty apartment you share with two other dudes.
Maybe things are going okay you’ve got a decent life. Maybe there’s cash in the bank and you could pull off the illusion for a few dates. Might work in the short-term, but it’s a surefire way to fuck up any situation that could be worth pursuing in the long run.
If you just want to meet chicks for fun, go in Tinder or spend some cash at the bar. There are better things in life than scamming girls into hanging out with you.
Be honest and get your shit together instead. You might land a girl that’s out of your league just because you’re real – especially if you’re actually working toward something better in your own damn life.
Put Your Best Foot Forward
Being honest is great, and if you want anything approaching a meaningful relationship, it’s pretty freaking important. That doesn’t mean you need to show off all of your flaws right away.
Some guys – you know who you are – take the whole honesty thing completely the wrong way. No, you shouldn’t lie about your job and how much money you make. No, don’t tell a woman you drive a brand new BMW when you take the bus.
Putting your best foot forward is showing off why you’re worth paying attention to. Got an average car that you maintain meticulously? Cool! Show it off. Interested in cooking? Take a damn photo of the dinner you made last night, even if all you can pull of convincingly is steak or mac and cheese.
The same goes for photos, but we’ll get to that more in depth next because you guys need a whole lot of fucking help with your pictures.
Find a Female Photographer
Guys take the worst pictures of themselves in the world for dating sites. Cell-phone selfies, workout photos where a more attractive guy is in the background – you name it, guys have taken and posted it.
The problem is that most dudes don’t know shit about how they really look or when they look good. You’re not a sartorial savant, so even when you think you’re dressed well you probably look like a GQ reject with a mustard stain on his tie.
So what’s a dude to do? Get a girl to take the pictures for you! If you have even one female friend, ask for her help with online dating profile pictures. She might make fun of you at first, but she’ll give you some insight into what women like and what makes them want to throw their laptops through the god damn window.
Oh, and unless your conversation happens to be having a conversation about former U.S. President Richard Nixon, don’t send her any dick pics unless she asks. Even then you might want to consider going on a date first instead.
Craft Personal, Thoughtful Messages
It’s incredibly easy to write a bio pointing out all of your attributes. It’s also incredibly easy to send that to any girl who looks like she might be a fun date or a life partner you can’t live without. Problem is that it’s a shitty way to actually connect with any living, breathing human being.
Instead of crafting a generic introduction message reminiscent of a cover letter for your resume, take the time to actually comment on a few things on a woman’s profile. Maybe ask her a question that relates to her interests, like why she became a bikini model in the first place.
Whatever you choose to talk about, make sure it has something to do with the girl you’re trying to get to know. You can include interesting points about yourself, but at the very least, try to include a section that lets her know you’ve read her damn profile.
Without that section, she probably won’t respond to you at all even if she does think you look good in those pictures your friend was nice enough to take.
See, online dating isn’t that hard – you’re just an idiot who couldn’t think of those things on his own!
For real though, these tips should help you navigate the potentially awesome world of online dating without wanting to bang your head against the wall while wondering why girls never respond to you. Once you get a date your own your own though, at least unless you want to pay for my drinks too.