The initial date between two people can be both exhilarating and nerve-wracking; and it’s crucial to get off on the right foot from the start.
To really connect with someone, there are certain behaviors that you should avoid when you’re on a first date, no matter how easy it might be to slip into them at the moment!
Here are nine common mistakes you don’t want to make on the first date so that you can ensure a smooth and enjoyable evening from start to finish.
1. Let her plan the date
Even in 2022, most women like a guy to take the lead. Don’t ask her to plan the evening, don’t ask for her confirmation on every step, it will come across as insecurity. Just make decisions like a grown-up and plan a great evening.
Give her a time and date and ask her if she wants to show up. If she can’t make it, give an alternative date, maybe two if she’s a busy gal, but if she’s really into you her agenda will be surprisingly flexible.
2. Pick her up or send a car
This is probably a counterintuitive point. To many, it might seem a courteous, gentlemanly thing to pick up milady or send a chariot her way. But in fact, it might not turn out te be appreciated if you do.
Just see it through her eyes, would you really want to hop into the car of someone you’ve never met before and who’s (if we take the general average) notably stronger than you?
Letting her take her own car or take any other transport on her term will make her feel more safe and allow for an escape (should she ever need one). She’s a grown woman, not a kid, she’ll find a way to get there and if she really doesn’t, she’ll ask you to help her out explicitly.
3. Meeting at your (or her) place
Just like the previous point, when it comes to meeting a guy for the first time, there might always be risk involved. For the same reason she doesn’t want to jump into your car, she’ll also be hesitant to enter your place.
When you propose a woman you’ve never met before to come over, you might not get the answer you were expecting. Even if she actually was into you. It will also come across as inexperience on your side.
It’s much better to meet at a neutral, public place where she can leave anytime she wants, it’ll make her feel a lot more relaxed. If all goes well and you two really (but, like, REALLY) hit if off, you can still head on over to your place, after she finds out you’re not a creep. Also, don’t be a creep.
4. Wearing Too Much Cologne
Just like deodorant and antiperspirant, cologne can help control body odor, but that doesn’t mean you should pour it all over your body.
Overdoing it can make you smell like a walking Abercrombie & Fitch ad (which might not necessarily be such a bad thing), but more importantly, everyone has their own scent preferences; most women would probably prefer if you didn’t try and improve them with artificial scents, so go for a more neutral, natural scent.
Use your nose as a guide: If it smells good, then apply some more. If not, don’t use as much next time or opt for a different scent. Or even better, ditch the harmful chemicals and use an all-natural pheromone soap for that natural great scent.
5. Leaving Your Phone Face Up On The Table
Research has shown that people who keep their phones visible while they’re out in public are more likely to feel excluded than those who don’t. Phones, especially smartphones, represent everything you can be distracted by outside of what’s happening right there and then.
Leaving your phone face up on a table at dinner sends a strong signal that there are other more important things—or people—you’d rather interact with than your date.
If your phone becomes an item of interest for your date (and it will), resist picking it up immediately; if you do pick it up, be honest about checking it and try not to fiddle with it too much or use an overly apologetic tone.
6. Taking Her Home Too Soon
Despite what you might have seen in romantic comedies, don’t whisk your date off to your place just because she consented to come back with you after dinner. There are many reasons why bringing her home too soon could be a mistake, starting with the fact that you just met.
This early in a relationship, you don’t know enough about each other yet—and there are probably things you want to talk about before taking it any further. Also, bringing her home makes it way too easy for something physical to happen when maybe neither of you are ready for it yet.
Guys are notoriously bad at reading signals when it comes time for sex, and women typically feel vulnerable enough in these situations without adding extra pressure by immediately taking their clothes off. You’ll notice when it really feels 100% right, anything below 100, don’t take any chances.
7. Talking Only About Yourself
When we feel nervous, we often fall into the trap of talking about ourselves and talking about what’s important in our lives.
While it might make you feel like you’re making a good impression (i.e., showing off your accomplishments or bragging about your passion for piano), it usually ends up making you look like an egotistical jerk—the worst kind of first date.
Avoid all talk about yourself and focus on asking her questions and learning more about her: what she does, where she comes from, and what she thinks about different topics in life.
To put it simply: people like to hear themselves talk; we don’t need to do that for them.
8. Struggling to Impress
While you want to make a great first impression, don’t overthink your date. For example, dressing too nicely or talking about how much money you make can put pressure on your date and ruin their night.
It’s important not to get so caught up in impressing them that you forget about yourself and what you want out of life. Even if they don’t want a relationship, there is nothing wrong with making some friends or getting some valuable advice.
It would be a shame if someone who might become a great friend decided that you weren’t worth their time because they didn’t like your flashy clothes and expensive car.
9. Overthinking
At the end of the day, girls just wanna have fun, and she won’t have any if you’re stuck in your head the entire evening instead of enjoying the moment. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, to err is human, just go with the flow.
She’s a human being just like you and she’ll be coping with the same emotions. Don’t overthink it, don’t try to make everything perfect. Once everything has been planned, the chips and cards are on the table anyway. Just enjoy your evening and all the rest will follow.
Conclusion
When it comes to first dates, there are a lot of assumptions but also misconceptions that come into play. Many times, people jump in without really knowing what they’re getting themselves into.
Perhaps you’ve seen others fail at love—now you’re ready for your shot at happily ever after. But before you get carried away, take a step back and remember these important points so you can focus on your date and have fun without any major mishaps along the way.
What you should do on a first date
Now you know nine things not to do on your first date, read our article on first date tips to find out what you should do on your big evening.
