I have it on good authority from she who must be obeyed (the wife) that women think chivalry is dead!
Well I’m going to attempt to redress this with some handy hints, under close supervision of course, to put our natural machismo back in it’s box for a bit to allow our knight in shining armour persona to step forward front and center.
The “On first meeting greeting.”
Greetings begin with an opportunity to demonstrate your excellent manners, and you should jump at this opportunity
When meeting a woman you should wait to see if she reaches to shake your hand or not. If she does then you should take her hand gently but firmly, a limp wristed wet fish handshake could suggest to her you’re limp in the trouser department too. And that’s a very bad start.
Look her in the eyes, smile, and greet her with whatever words you feel comfortable using. Some women have a very firm handshake, and you should be prepared for this. Don’t automatically assume that she’s going to be extremely delicate.
If she does not reach out her hand to shake yours, do not thrust your hand towards her expecting her to shake it. Making eye contact is essential as it can help alleviate nervousness and establishes a level of trust. Men of a more dubious character or who have an ulterior motive typically can’t look people in the eye and she’ll pick up on this immediately.
Open door and pull out chairs
These are the real basics on chivalry. Now this may sound too simple, but it makes a huge difference. This includes chairs in restaurants, car doors, doors to restaurants, and doors to residences. Opening a door or pulling out a chair for a lady is a sign of respect and consideration. So open doors for her and say “after you” DO NOT check out her ass as she walks in in front (or at least don’t get caught!).
Talking of female body part…
Be respectful of women’s bodies.
Let’s face it – we check women out when we meet them, but we need to be tactful about it. When you initially meet a woman you should certainly not comment on the finer aspects of her physique, so even if she’s got a great rack – eyes up!
Be careful about what you look at and when. Reserve your comments for a time when familiarity has been established and it’s obviously ok to say something.
At least initially, you should address her as ma’am (not mom!). If you find that she doesn’t appreciate being addressed with such formality, you can always change things up. However, she may appreciate the fact that you are choosing to show her respect by using this term
Going out to eat
If you go out to eat, make sure that you wait until she has begun eating her food before you launch into yours. And here’s a list of table manners that a proper gentleman displays:
Sit up straight and don’t slump over your food
Elbows off the table
Bring your food to your mouth – not the other way around
Chew with your mouth closed
Avoid talking with your mouth full
And one for the modern man – DO NOT answer the phone or text your friends how well things are going. If you do, guess what, they’re not.
Hopefully by the time you are going out on dates with women you know how to use a knife and fork properly, and if not – take the time to learn.
Mind your manners
Whenever the opportunity presents itself to give her the more comfortable seat or resting situation, allow her to have it. Part of being a chivalrous gentleman is doing whatever we can to make our special lady feel comfortable. If you treat her with consideration then she will return the favor.
This includes controlling burping, flatulence, and profanity. There is no faster way to dismay a lady than by cutting one loose and grinning like a schoolboy. Using profanity is not a way to impress a lady. If you find that your vocabulary is limited to mostly swear words then you should consider picking up a few books and at least attempt to expand your vocabulary before taking a lady out on a date.
Women, so I’m told, already find a lot of the things we men do to be distasteful, and you should do your best to cut this list down as much as possible. Follow these instructions and be mindful of what it means to be a chivalrous gentleman, and you will reap the rewards of your efforts.