Why this is perfect
This is so perfect that I’m amazed more guys don’t do it. Here’s why it’s so great:
In all of these scenarios, you’ve vacated the scene almost as soon as you’ve arrived. Guys who are attracted to us will often latch on, and that can kill any attraction we have to them immediately. We need to feel like we’re choosing to be around the guys, and not the other way around.
Handing her your card as you leave is the ultimate low-key, low-pressure and classy gesture. It says ‘I’m not trying to get laid tonight, I just like your shtick’, it marks you out above all the other guys she’s going to get hit on in your absence. And even if she doesn’t call, you’ll still be ‘that classy guy’ and not ‘that douchebag who wouldn’t leave us alone and asked for her number’. Don’t be that guy.
If you really must talk to women in public places
Finally, I understand that there will be the occasional time when you see someone and you can’t help yourself. if you absolutely must approach a woman in public who is on her own then please follow these simple rules:
– Don’t interrupt her if she’s in the middle of something, including if she’s got headphones on
– Talk to her like a human being – ask her for the time, or directions, or something like that – do not say you’re talking to her because you’re attracted to her
– Give her a compliment that isn’t too personal, to show you’ve noticed something about her as you were talking to her (jacket, phone, bag, band t-shirt)
– Apologize for taking up her time, tell her you don’t normally do this, but she seems cool so you’re going to give her your card so she can get in touch if she wants to
– Leave immediately, Don’t hang around, don’t sit next to her, don’t keep the conversation going even if she’s being responsive. She may just be being polite or she might even be anxious about the fact that you’ve approached her. Just leave. If she’s interested, and likes the look of you in the way you liked the look of her, she’ll be in touch.